Sorry blogger!

I'm moving to tumblr ;)

Am I.. Thinking too much..?

Is it really just me.. Or is he/she doing that purposely..

Sometimes it's best not to know..

But it hurts just to see it happening..

And you don't know whether it's what I've been doing..

Or how I act.. How I behave..

That makes them behave that way to me..

Why is it so..

It also hurts..

If they're doing it not on purpose..

This is hard to explain..

Sigh..

Please..

You're just boring..

You're uninteresting..

You don't matter..

You're not important..

Is it true..?

You're irreplaceable..

I'm replaceable..

Whats the use..

The more I try.. The more I get hurt..

Anything.. Practically ANYTHING I do.. is not good enough..

And when I thought everything was getting better..

I really feel like an outcast..

Not missed..

Not needed..

Not loved..

But that's just how I feel all the time..

Sigh..

I'm lost

Confused really..

Sigh.. I knew I should just stay at my peaceful home.. Thought this year would be different.. I think it'll be the same.. All the same.. Yes the same..

Loving and hating my life...

I Turn To You..

When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light to light my way.
And when I'm scared and losing ground;
When my world is going crazy, you can turn it all around.

And when I'm down you're there; pushing me to the top.
You're always there; giving me all you've got.

For a shield from the storm;
For a friend; for a love
To keep me safe and warm,
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong;
For the will to carry on;
For everything you do;
For everything that's true,
I turn to you.

When I lose my will to win,
I just reach for you and I can reach the sky again.
I can do anything,
'Cause your love is so amazing; 'cause your love inspires me.

And when I need a friend, you're always on my side;
Giving me faith that gets me through the night.

For a shield from the storm;
For a friend; for a love
To keep me safe and warm,
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong;
For the will to carry on;
For everything you do;
For everything that's true,
I turn to you.

For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain;
For truth that will never change;
For someone to lean on;
for a heart I can rely on through anything;
For that one who I can run to....
I turn to you.

For a shield from the storm;
For a friend; for a love
To keep me safe and warm,
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong;
For the will to carry on;
For everything you do;
For everything that's true,
I turn to you.

For a shield from the storm;
For a friend; for a love
To keep me safe and warm,
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong;
For the will to carry on;
For everything you do;
For everything that's true...

For everything you do;
For everything that's true,
I turn to you..

________________________________________________________________

Such a beautiful song to listen to..

Sadly I don't know who I can turn to..

Who can I tell my stories to..

For I'm afraid they would judge me differently..

For I know their thinking is different than mine..

And for I know I'm not as interesting as others are in their eyes..

But I have feelings too.. I have stories too..

I guess whoever bothers to read this, I shall let out my stories here.

I've been really messed up with events these past few weeks..

Spending time with the people that I feel comfortable with.. Sharing laughter and sharing misery at the same time..

But somehow I feel.. somehow.. Out of place.. I feel like I don't belong.. I feel like I'm just there because I want to be there.. I don't know.. I'm saying stuff..

A good friend of mine who I never thought would go all lovey dovey just kinda found a new partner.. Not official but they are acting like one.. I'm happy for them.. But I'm not for myself..

A dear friend is somehow lost in his/her dilemma with a new person that came into his/her life.. Asked me for advice and asked me to guide through all of this trouble.. Sigh I wish.. How I wish I have an hour more in a day than anyone else.. Maybe.. Just maybe I have time to put in all my effort to help.. That I don't abandon my friends for a long time just to help out another friend..

Another friend been emailing me about some stuff.. I replied... A few.. Then I stopped.. For I have no time yet again..

Sigh..

I don't know what I'm blabbering about.. My blog post have no introduction.. no body that follows any rules.. It's just random sayings.. But an honest one.. I'm a lousy blogger.. I'm sorry you had to go through all of these.. But I guess I just want to let it all out..

I want to feel really really appreciated..

I won't say how.. I just hope that one day come..

Doubt it..

I want to get lost in the world of music.. The wonderful world of just plain sounds and voices.. That sooth our very heart to peace and calm..

That makes you feel everything..

That makes you feel all emotions..

That makes you feel.. Alive.. Somehow..

I hate this feeling but every other time I always feel it..

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Don't think I'll say it now..

Tired..